Travel

TRUMP TO LAUNCH NEW CRUISE LINE

Mr. Trump at a presser announcing Cirque sur la Mer

In a surprise move, the former president is joining forces with two well-known companies to launch the world’s first cruise line with a circus theme.

Donald Trump announced today that he plans to launch his own cruise line in partnership with two organizations including Cirque Aimer of Monaco and Croisière Carnivale of France.

The former President said the new cruise line will be called Cirque sur la Mer and will commence operations in 2024 with two 600-passenger ships. The ships will be based in West Palm Beach, Florida and will offer cruises to the Caribbean in winter and the Mediterranean in summer.

According to Cirque’s CEO Gilles Desranger, the cruise line’s entertainment will feature many of the popular acts and performers from its land-based circus operation.

Gilles Desrangers, CEO of Cirque sur la Mer

In addition, the ship’s livery will feature a circus motif, and the crew’s uniforms will be based on clothes worn by circus performers. For example, dining room waiters will dress like jugglers, room stewards like acrobats, and the Captain and officers like clowns.

Cirque Aimer will own 30 per cent of the new cruise line and provide all the entertainment, and the ships will be operated by a subsidiary of Croisière Carnivale, which will own 30 per cent of the company.  According to Carnivale’s Chairman Michel Arifils, his line is a good partner for Cirque sur la Mer in the new venture.

“We’ve been running Croisière Carnivale like a circus for decades,” he said. “Have you looked at our balance sheet lately? Our accountants are great jugglers!”

Caddy for Donnie at Mar-a-Lago

Along with Carnivale and Cirque, the Trump Organization will serve as the third partner and own the remaining 40 per cent of the business. Trump will handle shore excursions along with pre-and post-cruise hotel accommodations, which will include options to stay at the organization’s Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, and an opportunity to serve as a caddy for former President Donald Trump during a round of golf.

The Trump Organization outbid several other hotel and tour management companies for the business, although there has been controversy about the legitimacy of the bidding process. When asked for a comment about his organization’s bid Mr. Trump said, “We won, by a lot.”

While many in the cruise industry have praised the idea of running a floating circus, others have said that rough sea conditions could a pose a danger to certain performers such as those involved in the high wire and flying trapeze. However, the Cirque’s Mr. Desranger dismissed the concerns by pointing to the many safety protocols that the line will be introducing.

Accounting staff at Croisière Carnivale

“The high wire and trapeze shows will take place over the swimming pool,” he explained. “As long as they don’t fall into the shallow end, the performers will be okay.”

Mr. Desranger said Cirque sur la Mer is expecting its two ships to be ready for service in early and late 2024. The first ship will be christened by Mr. Arifils and will be called Megalomaniac. The second ship will be christened by Mr. Trump and will be called Narcissist.

In a neat marketing twist, all the wines aboard the ships will be provided by Canada’s Megalomaniac Winery, whose wines include Pompous Pinot Noir, Sonofabitch 2018, Bigmouth 2017, Narcissist 2019, and Insensitive fume blanc 2017.

Cirque sur la Mer plans to release itineraries and start taking cruise deposits on April 1, 2022, or one year from today, which is April Fool’s Day.

In a related move, Mr. Trump said that if Cirque sur la Mer is successful, he will launch another cruise line that will sail between Galveston, Texas and Cancun, Mexico. The new venture will be called The Ted Cruz Line, and its first ship will be christened The Twit.

Featured image – Captain and crew in Circus-themed uniforms

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9 replies »

  1. I am immediately suspicious of any new item released at 12:01 on April 1. Thanks for a great start to the day.

    Like

    • Of course it’s true. They have even hired their first captain. Francesco Schettino, who piloted the Costa Concordia into the rocks in Italy will be joining the new cruise line as soon as he gets out of jail!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Captain and especially the two Suez Canal pilots who ran the giant container ship Ever Given aground last week should be next on the payroll!

    Liked by 1 person

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